Hamish Macdonell has a scurrilous tale on the Steamie about a supposed plan to attack Salmond's waist size at FMQs.One party leader, who really shouldn't be named, was mulling over the following line for FMQs.
"Why is it, Mr Salmond," they planned to ask,"that you are the only person in Scotland who is refusing to tighten his - rather large - belt?"
It's a tacky approach even to consider, so let's try to work out who it is. Here's a starter: it wasn't Patrick. For one thing, I know it wasn't. For another, it's not our style. Finally, it's a special occasion these days when we get taken at FMQs.
Next, I think we can rule out Iain Gray. Given how sensitive Labour are to the "£500m of Westminster cuts" line, this would be what the Americans call a Hail Mary pass to say the least.
That leaves just two contenders: Tavish Scott and Annabel Goldie. Both seem at least plausible. Tavish was arguing just recently for fierce tax cuts and, by implication, the kind of budgetary belt tightening a boa constrictor would understand.
Conversely, while cuts cuts cuts is a more popular Tory approach in Westminster, Annabel does specialise in this odd mix of direct assault and Carry On Matron banter. As one example, how about the occasion she compared the Maximum Eck to a haggis?
So, which of the two was it? Hamish has been scrupulously gender-neutral, which perhaps suggests Annabel, but that's pretty tenuous. Suggestions, or even denials from the advisers who apparently squashed the idea, would be welcome.
(incidentally, heaven knows why the Scotsman can't get proper URLs arranged for the Steamie: it's all they need to make it Scotland's best media blog)
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