I just received the following bonkers email (and so too did my colleagues in Wales, Limerick and others), apparently sent from Germany and apparently typed up while really quite high. Probably shouldn't give it the oxygen of publicity, but never mind.
Dear Greens,
I must warn you that the two major threats to the Planet are capitalism, with its mass consumption, and population explosion, that provokes an even greater consumption of Natural Resources.
The responsibles for this kind of situation aren't necessarily the leaders. In fact a range of people that orbits many organizations, even low in the hierarchy or out of the organization, are the responsibles ones too (they are evil and in the World there must be a mastermind of evilness that don't want life in the Planet, above all).
So I ask you to consider these facts and put Secret Green Agents in the place of this range of people by disintegrate them first from the place they occupy.
Places as in Governments, Associations, Parties, Companies, Religions, Media, etc. should be occupied by these Secret Green Agents.
Comply one, two or three times in messages between for greater security.
Remember, too, that religions are hazardous and authorities not friendly.
With our deepest Green Communist Greetings,
Marx, Engels & Lenin
Thanks for the tips, dead commies. Anyone wishing to be a Secret Green Agent in, say, a religion or other association, please do not get in touch. Also, if anyone decides to do this off their own bat, I'd skip the bit about disintegration.
I have many years experience of being a Secret Green Agent, so I can tell you that we absolutely do not practice or condone disintegration.
Any information we received through other countries' use of disintegration was incidental, and the disintegration was done without our knowledge. (Even if one of our own Secret Green Agent's was in the room at the time of the disintegration.)
However, the rules have changed in the last few years, and surely the population of this country would now accept that in some cases disintegration may have to be used as a last resort? Therefore ruling it out of the Secret Green Agent's repertoire completely is extremely short-sighted.